Sidekick syndrome

Win a vacay! Never in the group photo because you're the one stuck holding the camera? Say "cheese." Puh-leeze!
Tired of being Invisible Girl? If you're blending into the scenery, learn to stand out in the crowd!

BREAK THE RULES

All your BFFs wear purple to the pool on Fridays or meet for smoothies on Tuesdays? Occasionally wear green on purple day or say, "Hey, who wants to meet at Taco Bell on Tuesday?" It proves you're an individual, not a carbon copy.

JUST SAY IT

Your BFF takes charge of all the plans? Instead of staying mum, make some noise. She wants to see Shrek the Third, when you'd rather go to Pirates 3? Say so! Scratch that — you're sick of going to the theater. Every. Single. Saturday. You want to knock down some tenpins for a change of pace…so tell her.

EXPRESS YOURSELF

Just as you don't have to go with the flow during chill time, same goes for organized activities. Why join dive team just because a BFF does? It's not your thing, and your lame jackknives will pale in comparison to her perfect-10 swans. Instead, do whatever you excel in.

STEP OUTTA THE CIRCLE

It's totally OK to hang with girls outside your crew. Branching out into different social circles brings out other aspects of your personality. It demonstrates, even if only to yourself, that your identity is not dependent on a certain group of people. You can mix it up, right?

DON'T BE FOOLED

A bud constantly "borrows" clothes she doesn't return, or hits you up for a slice at the snack bar but never treats you to so much as a stick of gum? She may be using you. Do not be relegated to doormat status. Next time your so-called friend asks for a favor, put your foot down and say, "What have you done for me lately?" Don't expect an answer, hut that should make a statement!

BFF DILEMMA

My BFF and I both tried out for the swim team. I made it, but she got cut.

Tell your friend, "I'm sorry you didn't make it. but don't give up! Work hard, and I'm sure you'll make the team next year. No matter what. I will be there supporting you," That should make her feel better and boost her confidence.

— Sarah S., 11

Give her a huge hug, then suggest other ways she can get involved, like joining a recreational swim learn or helping keep stats at meets or being the team manager. Then tell Her she's a great swimmer and give her another hug.

— Annie D., 13

Your friend should understand that it wasn't your decision — it was the coach's. Don't brag about making the team, and try to make her feel included. Offer to help her improve her strokes. Make time to hang and swim with her!

— Dana D., 11

BFF giveaway

TRIPPIN'! What's better than basking on the beach? Having your BFF with you! GL is giving away a two-night vacation for two buds and two parents to TradeWinds Island Resorts in Florida, To enter, write a short essay about why your friend is the best! Send it with your name and address to Just Beachy, GL, 4529 Barford Rd., Baltimore, MD 21214 by July 16. Go to girlslite.com to learn more about the contest, and check out the spot at tradewindsresort.com.

By: Latoya Evans, Girls' Life, Jul 2007